Bare to the Bone

Last weekend was a momentous occasion for Class 51 at BTI.

Not only was it our class's first clinic working with a paying public (clients pay the school a token amount to cover costs), but it also was the first ever such event held at the school. We were breaking new ground, steaming into uncharted territory full speed ahead. I think each and every one of my classmates had at least one minor cardiac infarction at some point during our sessions but we all also really stepped up and it was a very successful event.

My five clients range from the "I'm not so sure about this getting undressed and being touched business" to the "I dare you to try to give me enough pressure... More! More, You Wuss!"

My biggest challenge though came with my second client who was perfectly comfortable and lovely and not demanding at all, BUT... To respect client therapist confidentiality I won't list all of the medical issues on their health history. Suffice it to say that I was under the impression that I was required to have serious advanced training before I would be able to work with at least a Couple of the things I saw there. I freaked... My teacher was totally cool about it. The client was totally cool about it. But I was thinking, "Are you Crazy? You are going to let me touch this person?! I'm not ready for this!!!" They couldn't lie on their stomach so I had to drape them in a side lying position, which I hadn't worked in before, and then completely improvise work on their back as our normal techniques were kind of out the window at that point.

I did my best to be calm and nurturing but I'm pretty sure my voice being two octaves higher and the way I started thrusting pillows here there and everywhere gave me away. I did my best and hoped it was a generally good, or at least not Terrible, experience.

And, of course, after doing the session and sending the client on their way, I thought, "That wasn't So bad..." And thus ends Part One of this story.

Part Two: That very same evening Dan and I got to see a concert by one of my favorite folk singers of all time: Carrie Newcomer. She just happened to be touring for a new album and had a small concert in the area. So exciting! What a perfect way to relax after a hard, though successful, day. So there I was, standing in line, waiting for the concert to start when a playbill was thrust into my hand and I looked up to see... my client from that afternoon. Clearly harried, things not going quite as expected with this concert they had arranged, they were too busy to recognize me but it was quite a moment for me nonetheless.

My day's work was that person's relaxation and vice versa. I had never imagined in that tense, stressful hour working with that client that they could possibly be giving something back to me of equal import. Certainly not that very same day! It was a tremendous lesson about respecting my clients and treating them as people first and foremost, not just seeing the conditions they might have.

I want to do that but I am not always the best at connecting with people. It's work. It's scary. And there is often rejection involved. What a gift then to be in a vocation that is at its very essence about connecting with people, about touching them with openness and kindness and meeting them where they are instead of where we think they should be. I don't have the luxury of hiding. My work challenges me to be the person I want to be.

After all of that internal drama it was still a lovely concert and the last song was one of my favorites. It's about the singer/songwriter life, but sitting there listening to it again, with my new insight about myself and this work that we are doing fresh in my mind, it brought tears to my eyes.

Here I am without a message
Here I stand with empty hands
Just a spirit tired of wandering
Like a stranger in this land

Walking wide eyed through this world
Is the only way I've known
Wrapped in hope and good intentions and
Bare to the bone


There is nothing I won't show you
There is nothing I can hide
I have risked it all and dreamt it all
And seldom questioned why.
You took me in when I was hungry
When my spirit ached and groaned
Laid wide open and defenseless
And bare to the bone


So when I rise I rise in glory
If I do I do by grace
Time will wash away these footprints
And we'll leave without a trace
Between here and now and forever
Is such precious little time
What we do in love and kindness
Is all we'll ever leave behind


When my eyes are slowly fading
When the light is softly waning
When the evening sun is setting
And the world is barely breathing
It is then your voice can call me
And your hand will lead me home
Like a newborn awed and naked
And bare to the bone


When I rise I rise in glory
If I do I do by grace
Time will wash away these footprints
And we'll leave without a trace
Between here, now and forever
Is such precious little time
And what we do in love and kindness
Is all we ever leave behind


Here I stand without a message
Here I am with empty hands
Just a spirit tired of wandering
Like a stranger in this land
Walking wide eyed through this world
Is the only way I've known
Wrapped in hope and good intentions and
Bare to the Bone