Trees, Like Frozen Fireworks… Belated

Perhaps in order to exculpate myself for the rather heavy-handed melodrama of “Free Fall,” I felt required to write a joyous and triumphant account of November in all its glory. I started one but it ended up fizzling into a rambling discourse on winter hibernation and the joys of simplicity. Feeling redundant and aimless I didn’t post it.

But I have been thinking recently about how enjoying the journey is more important than the destination. It’s something Dan has to remind me of all the time. Sometimes it is better to just do something than to achieve perfection, or get stalled along the way because perfection is So Much Work.

So I share this belated slice of my experience:

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Truly the first week of November was exultant: the fall colors that I had worried would not come finally peaked, the world watched the exciting outcome of the presidential election, and I passed the national certification examination, the final hurdle left before I could send in my state massage therapy license application.

Taking the exam was quite a dramatic experience in and of itself: the crying people I passed going into the testing site, the security (I was photographed and electronically fingerprinted repeatedly and could not even bring my own Kleenex into the testing room), the panic when I didn’t know a question, the constant chanting under my breath of, “I just have to pass. I just have to pass,” the adrenaline rush when I electronically submitted my test for scoring, and finally the relief of seeing my passing score and knowing it was all over…

Afterwards, the trees seemed like fireworks frozen at the height of their glory. It was as if the whole world was celebrating with me! And I was jubilant…

But the excitement was as bright and short lived as the fall foliage. With bad economic news pouring in every day, and the unavoidable wait for my application to be processed, it happiness was not to be found in grand, triumphant gestures but in little comforts and domestic projects. In peace and quiet and the first somewhat relaxed holiday season since… Well, I don’t remember the last one actually! It’s probably been since grade school.

There are tradeoffs financially to be sure, but it really is such a joy to put in a few hours at work then work out and still be able to make it home in time for dinner with Dan. After he leaves to teach or perform I have time to adventure in the kitchen, or read a book, or nap, or clean, or talk with friends… There is such a wonderful feeling of luxury, of indulgence, in having time to do just what I want to do. And I find that what I want to do these days is be a bit of a homebody.

I haven’t really described our new house because it’s not quite unpacked enough to post photos yet. It is small and homey. A bedroom filled almost completely by the queen-sized bed. A tiny bathroom. An odd shaped living room with only enough room around the furniture for one person to squeeze by. An office overfull with two desks, two chairs and a futon. A bright little kitchen and a reading nook that is currently full of stuff we are still unpacking. Because of its small scale it feels like an elaborate play house for two big children and I’ve come to think of it as our “fort.” A place where we can retreat from the slings and arrows of the world, snuggle under a blanket on the couch, and enjoy all the glories of the season.

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Since the holidays have passed, I’ve turned my attention from cookie baking to bread baking and have returned to my work getting my massage practice off of the ground. I received my license on December 3rd and am now completely official! Website design and marketing takes up a lot of my time but so do working out, and yoga, and reading, and catching up with friends, and spending time with my better half. We even had a snow day on inauguration day so we all could stay home and watch. It's been at least 5 years since that much snow fell here so it was something like an inauguration day miracle.

So far I’m enjoying the journey of 2009 quite a lot.